Wow, long time, no write

So, what's been going on in my life?
I know I don't EVER want to go to hell, because I felt what it's like just a few months ago.
"Tara, there is no way you could know what hell is really like!"
Dang straight about that.
But what I felt crushed my soul, killed me a little inside, and made me say "How could there be a God" for a while.
I don't know what hell is like, but that hurt so much I know hell can't be very far off from it. So, I'm determined not to go there. Ever.

Let me tell you, that I have not been sitting around, moping and being depressed for the last five months. Oh, HECK no.
It sucked, okay? I never want to go through that again. But I stopped letting it eat at me, and I have been living. The past doesn't rule me, but it does spring up sometimes to poke me in the side and say "Look what you caused!"
No...

• I went to an anime convention
  
• I got dirty all over looking for crystals
• I freaked when I found ticks when walking through the woods
• I took summer classes and wrote essays about what I care about.
• I drew, I wrote, I took pictures, all in all I tried to be creative, not destructive
  
• My dog died.
• My grandpa had surgery.
• I bought a wig, a costume, and boots.
• I introduced my mom to anime, and we've been spending time to together by watching my favorite show, FMA.
• I started going to a psychiatrist.
• I cried
• I laughed
• I was tickled to tears while I was stuck under a door in a hotel.
• I met the man of my dreams, and had my picture with him. He helped me heal, and he didn't even know it.
• I read every single Harry Potter book over the summer, from the seventh to the first.
• I learned that actually snapping out loud at satan that he smells, and he is ugly, and is just a worm who could never do anything right, really does help to make him back off and, hopefully, cry in a corner.
• I've learned God is always there, and he lets crap happen so I'll be closer to him and understand and what not... But I still get mad at him.

I know pretty much no one reads this, but I suddenly realized how much I needed to boast that I don't just CRY ALL THE TIME. I'm a human, and I have faults, but I don't wallow in them.

Tara